Like many, I have grown fearful of Socialism lurking about in America and think we need to go from listening to talk radio and “Faux News” to advancing into a concrete program of meaningful action. Many facets of our lives must be removed.

Let’s start with the U.S. Postal Service, invented by that socialist Ben Franklin and public schools (Land Ordinance of 1785) by that socialist Thomas Jefferson. In addition, let’s stop rest areas on highways, public sewer services, public water services and fire departments. After extinguishing public subways, various road and highways, (including the interstate highway system pushed by the well-known socialist Dwight D. Eisenhower), let’s attack museums, libraries, public parks, zoos and government-run recycling systems. Even though the socialists Lamar Alexander and Bob Corker strongly support the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA), its existence must also be expunged from our memories.

Continuing on our forward march to a completely laissez-faire wonderland, let’s prevent any government inspections of meat and other foodstuffs, air and water quality (already happening), and various medications. We could all sign pledge cards promising not to visit the socialist-run Arlington National Cemetery, along with the World War II and the Vietnam veterans memorials.

Lastly, let’s hold a rally in downtown Brunswick, yell various bits of nonsense and platitudes about tyranny and Nazism, and wrap it all up by publicly burning our Medicare cards and swearing off Social Security, an idea utilized by that famous socialist, Otto Von Bismarck of Germany.

Michael Woodward


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