Dear Dr. Wallace:
I’m a 15-year-old girl. For the past several months, my parents and I have been having a disagreement about allowing me to have two piercings in the cartilage of my right ear. Basically, I’m a good kid. I am in honors classes and am also on the honor roll at my school.
My parents object because they say it will make me look trashy. When I was 11, my parents finally allowed me to pierce my earlobes after I had begged them for years. One month after my 13th birthday, I was allowed to have a single stud in the cartilage of my left ear. I have not received even one negative comment about any of my earrings.
In 2018, it’s not unusual for girls to have multiple piercings. Earrings are removable and can be removed whenever I choose. I know that the decision ultimately lies with my parents until I turn 18, but these are my ears, not my parents’. I’m aware of the health risks concerning piercings, but I’ve never had any infections from piercings or wearing earrings. Your opinion, please?
— Anonymous, Kansas City, Mo.
Dear Anonymous: Please don’t think that I take the side of parents in all parent-teen disagreements because I don’t. All I can do is give my honest opinion, but when disagreements are the issue, someone is going to be unhappy with my comments. I’m aware that multiple-ear (and other body-parts) piercings are in vogue for young women. I’m not against them. In fact, I think they look good if they’re tasteful and not overdone.
I think your parents have been fair by allowing both lobes to be pierced plus a piercing in the cartilage of your left ear. It appears that every year or two you want your ear piercings to increase. Therefore, sorry, I have to agree with your parents. Three piercings are enough at your present age.
Who knows, but when you turn 18, multi-piercings could be out of fashion and you’ll be happy that you didn’t have additional piercings. But once you’re 18 and if piercings remain your passion — then go for it, as all decisions about those ears will belong exclusively to you.
Dear Dr. Wallace: I have a crush on the certain girl, but she doesn’t know I exist. My older brother thinks I have a shot at dating her if I would send her a dozen red roses and sign it, “A Secret Admirer.” The next step would be to call her a couple of days later and tell her exactly who her admirer is. I know that most girls like flowers. Does this sound like a good way to impress this girl to you?
Dear Anonymous: Girls do enjoy receiving flowers, but not necessarily from “secret admirers.” Your brother’s plan is more likely to alarm her than thrill her — the mystery guy might be a stalker, after all. Furthermore, girls rarely go out with guys they don’t know exist, so save your money at this time and find the courage to talk to her first.
Once you’ve made your acquaintance, call her up and ask her out. She’ll either say yes or no. If she says yes, use the money you would have spent on the flowers to have a fun and enjoyable date with her. If the answer is no, at least she will know that you exist. Believe me, that’s a far better situation than the position you’re in now. You may also realize it’s not all that hard to talk to girls once you get past the initial self-doubt.
And eventually a wonderful young woman will be saying yes.
Contact Dr. Wallace at firstname.lastname@example.org.