Dear Dr. Wallace:
“John Doe” and I met at a party. He asked me for my phone number, and I gave it to him. In the past six months, we have gone out three times. The first date was heavenly. I thought I fell in love with him that night. The other two dates weren’t quite so heavenly. Both times, he was sexually aggressive and became angry when I refused his advances. I understand from mutual friends that John is quite a “ladies’ man” and brags about all the girls he has “conquered.”
Last week, he called me and invited me to a party at his brother’s fraternity house. I’d really like to go because it sounds like going to a frat party would be a lot of fun. My heart tells me to go for it, but my head says no. Give me some sound advice either way.
— Unimpressed with Mr. Doe, via email
Dear Unimpressed: Fraternity parties can be a lot of fun. But some can also resemble the classic old movie “Animal House.” But it’s not the party that should bother you; it’s the struggle afterward.
Here’s the best advice I can give you: Tell this Casanova to get lost. Generally, when your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, you should listen to your head. Trust me, there will be other better and more suitable “frat parties” for you to attend in the future; this one is not for you.
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