Dear Dr. Wallace:
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over two years. We were an ideal couple. We had the same likes and dislikes, and music was our passion. We talked about getting engaged and, eventually, getting married. We were in a very serious relationship. Then about three months ago, I was sent out of state by my construction company to help finish a project. For the first two weeks, I talked with her on my cellphone twice a day. Then all of a sudden, my phone stopped ringing, and she stopped answering hers.
I figured something was wrong, and when I returned home, I discovered my concerns were real. My girl had met a guy at a party while I was out of state and, as she told me, he swept her off her feet. That’s bad enough, but now comes the really bad stuff: They were married yesterday! I’m in total shock. I always felt that this girl would be my life companion. It is difficult to believe that she could tell me how much she loved me and then dump me so quickly.
I checked around and was told that the guy she married lacks good character. In my heart, I feel that this girl still loves me, and it won’t be long until she returns. Of course, there is still a slight chance that she will stay with this guy, even when she doesn’t love him.
How long do you think I should wait for my ex to unload this guy? Please don’t give me one of your humorous answers because I am dead serious.
Dear Deconstructed: Once an ex-girlfriend says “I do” to another guy, for you, the party is over. To wait for a breakup of her marriage, constantly speculating on when and if it will happen, would be most unwise and terribly frustrating.
I know this is not a happy answer for you to read, but you must move on for your own good and sanity. Yes, it will hurt for a long while, and your pain is very real and valid. I feel for you. Do your best to accept that you’ve been dealt a tough hand here. Have some friends introduce you to new ladies when you are ready to socialize again. But make no mistake: The train has left the station when it comes to your former relationship.
Dear Dr. Wallace: I enjoy riding my motorcycle, and I appreciate your advice that both bike riders and passengers should always wear a helmet when riding on a motorcycle.
Wearing protective headgear is necessary, but not because we bikers are reckless riders. The reason is that many automobile drivers are reckless. Way too often, automobile drivers change lanes without checking to see if a biker is legally riding in the next lane. Unfortunately, when an automobile and a motorcycle kiss, bike riders are usually the losers.
— Two Wheels,
Dear Two Wheels: I’m printing your letter to remind all automobile drivers to drive cautiously and always be aware of other vehicles, especially motorcycles.
It’s very important that all drivers regularly use their sideview mirrors to know what vehicles are alongside or near them at all times. This, of course, is quite important to motorcycle riders. All drivers should keep a close eye out for other vehicles and change lanes carefully and gradually, without sudden movements. Share the road!