Dear Dr. Wallace:
I’m 15, and I really need your advice. I’m really in love, but I don’t know what to do about it. Last year, many of my high school friends told me that a guy liked me. I waited all school year for him to talk to me, but he didn’t say one word to me. Once school started again this fall, all of this started over again.
I discuss things with my mom, and she told me to be a little assertive and talk with him and tell him that I heard that he really liked me and that I like him, too. This sounded good, but it turned out to be a disaster. Yesterday, I walked up to him when he was with one of his friends and told him that I heard that he liked me. I was shocked when he told me that I was mistaken and that he didn’t even know who I was.
Dear Anonymous: Do nothing for the time being. It’s obvious that the young man likes you, but when he came face to face with you, he didn’t have the “courage” to admit it, probably because you caught him off guard. It also didn’t help matters that his friend heard the conversation. Don’t shy away from this young man. Continue to greet him when you see him at school, and when you find him alone, give him your telephone number and ask him to call you. It might take a little time, but he will likely call you at some point. He may even approach you directly at school — when the time is right for him.
Dear Dr. Wallace: I’m 17, and so is the girl I’ve been dating for over a year. Her parents know me and are usually nice to me. She has a midnight curfew for our weekend dates. Last Saturday, we went to a small party. It was a great party — no alcohol or drugs, just good food and excellent conversations. We both lost track of time. When we got to her house, her parents were waiting for her. Her father told me that as a punishment for bringing her home late, I couldn’t see her for a month. He said that I was 100 percent to blame because I have the car and he trusted me to bring his daughter home on time.
— Tardy Leaving the
Dear Tardy Party: If she had told you that it was time to leave the party to meet her curfew and you had ignored her, then you would have been totally responsible, but the blame for being late belongs to you both equally.
Her dad is off the mark to dish all the blame onto you, but the punishment he doled out affects both of you equally. In effect, you and your girlfriend are sharing the blame equally. Learn your lesson here, and make sure this curfew violation does not occur again!
You’re lucky that you had a good relationship with her parents and that they have been nice to you in the past.