Dear Dr. Wallace:
You keep saying that sex breaks up more relationships than it makes stronger. But my guy and I now are blissfully in love because we make love almost every time we go out. We are both 18, and it’s easy for us to hook up regularly since he has a van with a bed in the back! We just drift off to a quiet spot whenever we meet, and we now feel closer than ever. Don’t you agree that for some relationships, sex is the “glue”?
— Anonymous, Houston
Dear Anonymous: Well for starters, make sure to use protection when you “make love.” Please also read the following letter from a young lady who shares the opposite point of view on this subject.
Dear Dr. Wallace: I am particularly interested in letters from girls who wonder whether they should give in to a boyfriend who demands sex. I’d like to tell them, from my experience, that they should keep saying no. I’m a 19-year-old college freshman, and the last three guys I’ve been involved with have all been “around” quite a bit and are, shall we say, “experienced.” They all said they liked me because I was a “nice” girl and a real switch from the girls they were used to dating. In short, they respected me because I have the guts to say no to sexual advances. Trust me, girls, you’ll earn a lot of respect and still have plenty of suitors if you practice abstinence before marriage.
— Anonymous, Jackson, Mississippi
Dear Anonymous: Thanks for sharing your thoughts on sexual advances. Let’s hope the young lady from Houston reads your thoughts to see another perspective on the topic. The same is true for the many girls who are about to come into their active dating years.
Dear Dr. Wallace: I’m a sophomore at a large high school in Philadelphia. The school sponsors event dances on Friday or Saturday evenings from 7-10 p.m., and they are well attended. Only students from our school can attend, and they must show their student identification cards to enter. Teachers and administrators act as chaperones. My best friend has attended four of these dances and said they are a lot of fun. She has made several new friends. Two police officers patrol the parking lot to ensure that cars are safe, and they are nearby if needed at the dance.
My mom won’t let me attend the dances unless she can also be a chaperone. She talked with our principal and was told in a nice way, “Thanks, but no thanks,” as no other parents are used as chaperones, and the school has a well-planned system in place that is working just fine. So now that Mom was told no, that means I won’t be attending any school dances this year or next year, either.
I understand that you are a former high school principal. Were parents permitted to be dance chaperones at your high school? If the answer is no, please explain why.
— Dance Enthusiast, Philadelphia
Dear Dance Enthusiast: Our school district ruled out all parental chaperones at high school dances, since they had to be state-credentialed teachers, counselors and administrators.
This was because they had the authority to deal with problems that might arise. It wouldn’t be wise to place parents in this role. But parents were welcome to stop by for a short visit as guests to observe the dance in person. The maximum length was 15 minutes, designed to give a parent enough time to see the actual environment in person, but also to give the students some privacy to enjoy professionally supervised time together.