Dear Dr. Wallace:
I’m a rather short 15-year-old guy and I feel very self-conscious about my height most of the time. I’m definitely shorter than all of the guys in my freshman class, and I’m even shorter than some of the girls, which is embarrassing and makes me feel awkward when I’m around them.
I’ve been told that girls like taller guys, but I’ve never heard anything about girls specifically liking shorter guys. I’d really like to start dating, and there’s a girl I like that I’ve wanted to ask out, but does my height make me a lost cause?
I’m pretty friendly and my friends all tell me that I have a great personality, but my height holds me back from talking to girls I have not
— Short in Stature, Long in Personality, via email
Dear Short In Stature, Long In Personality: Height is only one of the hundreds of characteristics and features that make up a person, so don’t focus on it too much.
While it’s true that some girls like taller guys, not all girls feel this way. It is also true that many tall guys lack other characteristics and features girls find attractive, some of which you already have, like your famous personality!
So, do yourself a favor and don’t get caught up in the game of comparison. Focus instead on being the best version of yourself possible, and I can assure you that girls will take notice of your strengths. If you don’t dwell on your height and make it a bigger issue than it is, other people won’t either. There are many girls out there who won’t care at all about how tall you are and will be far more interested in who you are as a person.
These are the kinds of girls you will want to date anyway, so your height may actually work to your advantage in the sense that it may help to filter out girls who are only concerned with specific aspects of physical appearance and who are probably not ready for a meaningful relationship in the first place.
All finally, most importantly of all — you are certainly not a lost cause when it comes to the dating scene!
In fact, I’d be willing to bet that you have a lot going for you.