Dear Dr. Wallace:
I’m 19 and in love with Rolando. He is my soul mate, and we are getting married on my 20th birthday in three months. In high school, I dated Giovanni for two years. He is a nice guy, and we stayed good friends even after we broke up. We are still great friends and talk to each other many times a week, sometimes two or three times a day. Giovanni is suave and very good-looking, and now Rolando has asked me to stop talking to him all the time. I have no romantic tendencies at all towards Giovanni. We are just good friends. I’m completely in love with Rolando, and I tell him this all the time!
What can I do to make my “Rolo” (his nickname!) know that he is my love and that Giovanni is just a good friend?
Dear Bride To Be: I know it is difficult to lose a good friend, but the time has come to tell Giovanni that your fiance is a bit upset that you’re sharing a best friend type of relationship with a former boyfriend. Let Giovanni know that Rolando has asked you to cool down the friendship at this point. It’s not really asking too much. Seek a compromise to remain friends with Giovanni but with some distance be’TWEEN the two of you. Tell Rolando that you will only occasionally keep in touch with Giovanni when group settings or outings arise and others are present, and stick to this declaration. Spending a lot of time confiding in Giovanni one-on-one is not appropriate now given your upcoming nuptials. Your situation has changed. How would you react if your Rolo became very friendly daily with his ex-girlfriend?
Dear Dr. Wallace: Parking has always been a problem at our high school. Sometimes, it’s difficult to even find a parking space, especially when the weather is bad. The student council is suggesting that each student who has a valid driver’s license be given a permanent parking space. The spaces will be numbered, and each student will retain the space for the entire school year. Of course, some spaces will be more desirable than others. The way it will work is that the 12th-graders will get first choice, then the 11th-graders and, finally, the 10th-graders who have licenses. Each group will draw numbers from 1 to 67 with No. 1 getting first choice.
Some underclassmen think that to be fair the entire group of driving students, they should draw from numbers ranging from 1 to about 150. If you were our principal, which plan would you use?
Dear Curious: Seniority has its privileges. 12th-graders should get first choice, followed by 11th-graders and sophomore licensed drivers next. Tell each grade they will climb the “seniority ladder” with each school year and will get their turn at the top.
I like the idea of each student driver having a designated parking spot, but what happens when an “uninformed” driver parks in someone else’s designated spot? If this is a regular occurrence, it could cause ongoing problems. Be sure to think this through, and be sure the school’s administration is placed in charge of maintaining and enforcing all rules related to your parking lot.
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