(July 24, 1993)
There is nothing quite so at home at a Southern newspaper as writing hot takes about the summer heat. The News’ Mike Morrison tried his hand at it, as well, rolling out ways to describe the oppressive weather.
“Now this is a family newspaper, so for the sake of the infants and toddlers out there who may be among the readership of this column, I am precluded from listing any of the really fetid references — including those of anatomical or scatological derivation — that might otherwise come up in the course of intellectual discussion,” Morrison wrote. “I will offer a few examples, however, that should give you a general idea of how it’s done.
“1. It’s hotter than FIRE out there.
“2. It’s hotter than HECK out there.
“3. It’s hotter than AN OVEN out there.
“4. It’s hotter than HOT COALS out there.
“5. It’s hotter than COFFEE out there.
“6. It’s hotter than PEPPER SAUCE out there.
“7. It’s hotter than A SAUNA out there.
“8. It’s hotter than A BURNING GERBIL out there.
“9. It’s hotter than AN ARAB OUTHOUSE out there.
“10. It’s hotter than BOILING PRUNE JUICE out there.
“11. It’s hotter than A FLAMING FLAMINGO out there.
“12. It’s hotter than AN EGYPTIAN IN LONG JOHNS out there.”
(July 22, 1968)
The News’ editors reflected on the continuing decline of passenger rail service throughout the country, pointing out that with surging population and the need to get a large number of people from one place to another without overloading other methods, a strong rail service was necessary.
“Some city planners predict that the increase in the number of automobiles will some day bring on so much congestion, so many parking problems, so much expense and air pollution that they will be severely restricted, perhaps even barred from the downtown areas of American cities,” according to the editorial.
It continued, “The railroads — interstate, intrastate, interurban and intraurban — would then have to be revived. This would entail subsidy from local, state and federal governments. It would be much better to plan now to save the railroad passenger service.”
Raise a glass, as it was the beginning of the end for Il Duce.
“Benito Mussolini is reported the captive of a new Italian government today following the crash of his 21-year dictatorship which threatened to topple Italy out of the war and the Axis,” the Associated Press reported. “Reuters, British News Agency, said in a dispatch from Sweden that the fallen Mussolini had been captured while trying to escape from Italy to Germany. There was no immediate confirmation, but other dispatches from Switzerland said it was reported other leaders and cabinet members were also under arrest.”
Back in Brunswick, the mayor was looking for a pretty young woman to send to Wisconsin.
The News reported, “Wanted — An attractive Brunswick girl to go to Sturgeon Bay, Wis., about Aug. 15 to christen the frigate ‘Brunswick’ being constructed by the L.D. Smith Shipbuilding Company. A Brunswick native desired.
“Mayor J. Hunter Hopkins was tempted to insert such an advertisement in The News this afternoon, but fearing Brunswick girls would feel hesitancy in applying for such a delightful honor, he decided to seek other means to secure a sponsor for the vessel soon to be launched at the Wisconsin yard which has been named in honor of the city.”