Among reports filed with police:

Arrests

Kings Way and St. Andrews: This guy was driving around in the midnight hour on St. Simons Island in a Chevy Colorado pickup with the headlights off. He swerved across Kings Way into the path of an oncoming patrol officer, then veered back to his own side of the road. The officer turned around and got behind him just in time to see the dude swerve off the road and “jerk back onto the road,” the report said. The resulting traffic stop landed the 23-year-old man in jail, charged with DUI, driving without lights and failure to maintain a lane.

600 block of Carpenter Street: A neighbor heard a child scream for help in the middle of what sounded like a domestic brouhaha next door. Police arrived and talked with the youngster, then focused on the supposedly grownups at the home. Three of them went to jail: a 33-year-old woman for battery, and a 34-year-old man and a 21-year-old woman for criminal trespass.

2300 block of Union Street: The girlfriend already had a swollen eye when police arrived to a report of a couple fighting out in the yard near a vehicle. She also had a knife, which she used to scratch up the boyfriend’s car windows. She was trying to gouge the vehicle’s tires, prompting the boyfriend to forcefully intervene. Police took the 48-year-old man to jail for battery and the 26-year-old woman to jail for criminal trespass. Both were charged with cruelty to the children who were placed in the position of having to witness the spectacle.

100 block of South Road: A man was told in clear terms that he was most unwelcome on a certain piece of property. Well, he showed up there again anyway, standing inside the home’s driveway when police arrived. The 43-year-old went to jail, charged with criminal trespass.

1200 block of Gloucester Street: After stopping a vehicle for a traffic violation, the officer detected strong indication that a more detailed search of the car was warranted. The 19-year-old woman driver went to jail, charged with possession two kinds of dope, possession of pot, giving the officer a phony name, driving on a suspended license and, get this, with all that going on she went and ran a stop sign.

Gunshot

1800 block of Goodyear Avenue: A man with a gunshot wound arrived after hours at the home of his ex-girlfriend, who was not home at the time. City police officers later found the poor guy at a facility more qualified to deal with gunshot wounds than ex-girlfriends — the hospital emergency room. The shooting took place in the county. Police are investigating.

Heck Hath No Fury Like …

2400 block of Albany Street: An irate wife would not let her late-returning husband into the house. For emphasis, she threw all his clothes outside in the yard. “Officers responded to this address multiple times before the situation was mediated,” police reported.

— Larry Hobbs

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