Among reports filed with police:


2415 Parkwood Drive: After police at the hospital had to arrest an unruly patient, they called city police to haul the man off to jail. He was no less hospitable with the city cops. The bellicose boor took swings at the officers and tried to spit on them. Police zapped him with a taser and then fitted his face with a spit mask before taking the 57-year-old to jail for two counts of interference with government property and one count of willful obstruction of the law. A spit mask. Now police have spit masks at their disposal. Hmmm.

2715 U.S. Highway 17: A guest of the Palms Motel called police after hours, frantic that he was expecting a visit from a man who had already tried once to kill him. “Officers responded and found the male to be intoxicated and not making any sense,” the report said. The uptight tippler called again, advising that his nemesis “was coming to get him,” the report said. Still later in the wee hours, someone else called police to report some nut was shooting a gun. “This was the same intoxicated male from the two previous calls,” the report states, and you can just hear the exasperation in the cop’s voice. At first, the soused suspect said “he did not do anything.” Then he gave police permission to search his room, in which they found a couple of ounces of grass. Also, a firearm. Police took the 52-year-old man to the hospital for medical clearance before dropping him off at the jail, charged with shooting a gun while drunk, possession of a firearm or knife in the commission of a felony, aggravated assault and possession of pot with intent to sell.

Glynvilla Apartments: An irate ex-boyfriend busted a window out of a woman’s apartment. Police arrived, but the cad was gone. The recalcitrant rake returned later and busted out another window. This time police asked the woman if she could just show them where this jerk of an ex-boyfriend lives. Police found him there, but he denied the whole thing. The Glynvilla security surveillance cameras told a different story, however, showing the man “busting the windows on both occasions,” the report said. The 57-year-old man went to jail, charged with interference with government property and willful obstruction of the law.

— Larry Hobbs

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