Among reports filed with police:
Whitlock and Townsend streets: A cop responding to a report of trouble brewing on Ogg Avenue after midnight had to hit the brakes to avoid colliding with a guy who drove a Chevrolet Express van through the stop sign at Ogg and 7th streets. The resulting traffic stop landed the 40-year-old man in jail, charged with DUI and running a stop sign.
Shady Acres Mobile Home Park: A yahoo with a gun was walking around taking pot shots at the sky in the evening hours, with a child right next to him. A concerned resident called police. The yahoo told police there was no gun fire, but someone had been lighting fireworks near his lot. No, the officer said, we are here because you were “shooting rounds in the air.” The yahoo said he is a convicted felon and could not legally have a gun. In the end, the 43-year-old yahoo went to jail for willful obstruction of the law.
210 Mall Blvd.: A woman tried to do some shoplifting at the Belk store. So, how did that work out for her? Police took the 33-year-old woman to jail, charged with shoplifting.
Altama Avenue: A man rear-ended a vehicle at the intersection, then backed up and drove away. To be specific, he drove away the wrong way on Altama, and he wrecked with yet another vehicle. The budding demolition derby contestant then drove into a nearby neighborhood. City cops found them. The state patrol took over the investigation, putting the 67-year-old in jail for hit and run, and following too close.
700 block of N Street: Neighbors watched a man attack a woman on the front porch of a home. They called police. Police took the 28-year-old schmuck to jail for battery under the family violence act.
215 Dungeness Drive: Ambitious thieves drove away with a man’s 18-wheeler Dixon Transport Truck and Car Hauler. It was parked in the Travel Centers of America truck stop parking lot.
Lawn Maintenance Gone Bad
2200 block of Tara Lane: While on patrol in the daylight hours, an officer could not help but notice that a residence’s entire back lawn was on fire. In talking with the homeowner, the officer discovered the homeowner was burning “debris and grass in order to keep from moving,” the report said. The officer persuaded the man to put out the fires.
— Larry Hobbs