Among report filed by police:


2701 J St.: A would-be Bonnie and Clyde pilfered goods from the Dollar General and tried to run, but the dishonest duo did not get far. City police “officers arrived and later located (the) subjects a few blocks away,” the report said. The 38-year-old woman and the 29-year-old man went to jail, each charged with shoplifting.

Interstate 95: A Jacksonville man crashed into the rear end of another vehicle on Interstate 95 in the middle of the day, then apparently drove away. When police caught up to him, the 40-year-old man went to jail, charged with DUI, hit and run and excessive tailgating.

Suspicious Incident

100 Genoa Martin Park: A man and woman were romantically occupied inside a parked vehicle at Selden Park. The smoke emanating from the car indicated to the officer that the couple were smoking grass to put them in the mood. “A search yielded a small amount of marijuana throughout the vehicle,” the report said. No indication from the report that there was enough pot or misbehavior to warrant an arrest.

Police Assist

2415 Parkwood: A person arrived at the hospital after getting roughed up, playing the victim role. Police delving further into the matter learned the person entered the fray of his own accord and was only smarting from the outcome. The fight was “determined to be mutual combat,” the report said.

2900 block of Newcastle Street: A guy was acting peculiar, knocking on the front door of an establishment where his business was not wanted. He apparently was harmless enough and known to city police, who gave him a ride home.

— Larry Hobbs

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Tom had it pretty darn good for a British soldier in the 1730s. A fellow could hardly ask for better duty, stationed as he was on the stronghold of Gibraltar amid balmy Mediterranean breezes, fortified libations and comely damsels.