Among reports filed with police:

Arrests

Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard and R Street: A cagey character appeared up to something sneaky when he backed his vehicle into a din of darkness. The sidewinder sidled away as a cop converged on the scene, but not flee fast enough. The cop found dope on the dude, for which the 23-year-old went to jail.

900 Blythe Island Road: A doddering dunce drove into a ditch during darkness, prompting a neighbor to call a cop. The officer discovered the driver was unharmed in the early-morning crash — unharmed, but drunk. The 44-year-old went to jail for DUI and, predictably, failure to maintain a lane.

5400 block of New Jesup Highway: Petty pilferers committed a rash of vehicle burglaries (13 on Cate Road alone) around Cate and Crispen roads, prompting police to up their patrols of the area. That is how an officer spotted a dude with devious designs snooping around neighborhoods on an unlit bicycle in the dark before dawn. As a result of the subsequent encounter at the above location, the 25-year-old scoundrel went to jail for loitering and prowling, willful obstruction of the law and two outstanding arrest warrants.

700 Third Street: A bunch of yahoos were hooting and hollering while their neighbors were trying to sleep. The situation clearly required constabulary correction, but the responding officers were met with a “loud and boisterous” backlash. One surly sot set upon the officer who was arresting him, getting a Taser tagging for his insubordination. Then his father got into it with the cops. Long story short, the 17-year-old son the 40-year-old father landed in the pokey for willful obstruction of the law.

Theft

Coastal Club Circle: Callous crooks broke into a 2017 Volkswagen Jetta overnight, absconding with cash and two debit cards. The victim told police “she was not sure how the suspects got in because they usually lock their doors,” the report said.

Gunfire

Brunswick Commons: Police received reports of gunfire ringing in the night. Responding cops recovered “13 shell casings and two projectiles.” Fortunately, no one was hurt, but bullets struck two vehicles.

Fight

267 Village at Glynn Place: An employee at a restaurant was hard at work in the kitchen when a crazed coworker rushed in “and began stabbing him with a knife,” police reported. Luckily, the man sustained only “minor puncture wounds to the arm, back and shoulder,” police reported. The knife-wielding nihilist apparently split the scene afterward. No arrests yet, but the cops know who he is.

— Larry Hobbs

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