Among reports filed with police:
1700 block of Cate Road: A guy summoned the cops in the evening hours. He wanted them to know right up front that he was not stealing stuff, despite his roommate’s assertion to the contrary. The cops sided with roomie. The 28-year-old man went to jail for misdemeanor theft. Also, for possession of dope.
Interstate 95: A patrol officer noticed a southbound Ford F-150 was rolling on borrowed time, its license plate expired. The resulting evening-hour traffic stop landed the 45-year-old man behind the wheel in jail for driving an unregistered, uninsured vehicle without a driver’s license while drunk and with an open container of alcohol.
U.S. Highway 17 and Jekyll Island Causeway: A blue Dodge Caravan veered off the highway and into the marsh, flipping the minivan on its side in the process at midmorning. The one guy hanging around when the cops arrived said he was not the driver. He was just along for the ride, he tells the officer. He was bickering with the driver and “the next thing he knew, they crashed in the marsh,” police reported. The driver ran off; the tale’s narrator was a standup guy and stuck around. That was his story. Nice try. The 36-year-old storyteller went to jail, charged with DUI and driving without a license.
150 Altama Ave.: OK, shoplifters, let’s review: If you are inside a department store in 21st century America, you are being watched. And if you try to steal something from the local Walmart, their crack security team will catch you. Just like they did the other day, monitoring the surveillance video as a woman grabbed a shopping bag inside the store, stuffed some goods in it, put the whole kit-and-kaboodle inside a shopping cart and was promptly nabbed walking out the door. Police took the 40-year-old woman to jail for shoplifting.
Norwich Street Ext.: A patrol officer was staking out an area known for drug peddling when he spied a familiar face behind the wheel of a Hyundai Touring in the late afternoon. The officer immediately recognized the shady character as a habitual dopehead and a “suspected affiliate of the Aryan Brotherhood or another subversive gang or hate group,” the report noted. The subsequent traffic stop landed the 51-year-old man in jail for possession of narcotics.
Fourth Avenue and Lanier Boulevard: A G-man was on patrol in the city when he spotted what appeared to be a “man down” and “wrapped in a blanket” in the city’s jurisdiction. The federal agent contacted city cops, who “discovered the object to be a life-sized doll,” police reported.
And Just Like That …
5598 Altama Ave.: A bagged ice delivery guy set his Galaxy S9 cellphone on top of the Dollar General’s storefront ice bin in the middle of the afternoon. He also put a small printer there. He strolled over to the delivery truck for a moment. The phone was gone when turned around. The thief left the small printer behind.
Third Street: A man reported his Smith and Wesson MNP .40 caliber handgun went missing from his brand-new Ford Explorer, which he locks at all times. The thief slipped the gun out its case and left the case under the seat.
4101 First Street: A bandit smashed a vehicle’s window, reached inside the snagged a woman’s purse. The door was still locked, police said, so the crook likely targeted the purse only, leaving no fingerprints behind.
2501 Perry Lane: A smooth operator walked into the Friendly Express in dawn’s early light, casually pulling two cases of Bud Lite and a case of Corona to the side and setting them on the floor. The next thing the store clerk knew, the fink committed a hops heist, slipping out the door with his beer booty.
Brooklyn Homes: A vehicle’s back window was left open by the child of the vehicle’s owner, allowing a thief access to pilfer “a loaded magazine, money and her cellphone” from within. The culprit left prints behind, which vigilant officers lifted for proof.
— Larry Hobbs