Among reports filed with police:
Been There, Done That
4000 block of Whitlock Street: A guy called the cops to report a theft after his car went missing while he was at work. Sheepishly, the guy called to say never mind. “Complainant called back shortly after reporting his vehicle stolen to inform me that it was parked in a different parking lot and he forgot,” the officer reported.
1 Torras Landing: Verbatim, city police reports: “A female called stating someone stole her truck. After a short period, it was discovered she parked it in a different location. Service provided.”
Heck Hath No Fury …
2500 block of Wolfe Street: A woman with an agenda doused a man’s clothes in bleach. For good measure, she sloshed some bleach on the man as well. She then slinked away. Cops are looking for her and they have a warrant.
1919 U.S. Highway 17: Come on, folks. Take 10 seconds to push your empty shopping cart into the cart bin, rather than leaving it to flop around into somebody else’s vehicle or block a parking space — simply because your precious time is so much more valuable than ours. Besides, placing the cart where it belongs is probably good exercise. Exhibit A: A woman notified the cops after a wayward stray cart in the Winn-Dixie parking lot slammed into her vehicle and punched a hole in the bumper “due to heavy winds and storm that was coming in,” police reported. Yes, this is a pet peeve.
Lake View Cottages: A Smith and Wesson M&P 20 compact firearm went missing from a vehicle overnight.
Shore Drive: A Smith and Wesson M&P Shield Plus 9 mm handgun went missing overnight from the center console of a black Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck. Like the weapon above, this firearm is now in the hands of the bad guys.
1500 block of Stonewall Street: A woman reported her vehicle had been stolen. She said the vehicle’s key had been stuck inside the ignition at the time.
Eastridge Drive: A man chained his red Giant Iguana mountain bicycle to his porch while he was at work, but that did not stop a lousy thief from absconding with the bike.
— Michael Hall and Larry Hobbs