Among reports filed with police:
Whitlock Street and Old Jesup Road: The more laws a person breaks at a time, the harder it is to stay out of jail. That is what happened to a dopey driver who turned in front of a vehicle that had green light and the right of way near the midnight hour. A patrol cop was right behind the vehicle that had to cede the right of way to the careless kook. The resulting traffic stop landed the 18-year-old in jail for possession of enough dope to be in the dope-dealing business and possession of a firearm in the commission of a crime.
Coastal Village Drive: A big kaboom in the wee hours startled a slumbering infant, prompting the mom to call in a complaint about the neighbors “slamming the washer and dryer doors late a night,” police reported. Not even close. When police got to the bottom of the racket, a 36-year-old man went to jail for hit-and-run and willful obstruction of the law.
Glyndale Drive and Young Street: A man crashed his car in the late afternoon. Police took the tipsy traveler to jail, charging the 65-year-old man with DUI.
5028 U.S. Highway 341: A ne’er-do-well was slinking around in a restaurant parking lot before dawn, prime dining hours at the Waffle House. He was spotted and reported to police, who jailed the 26-year-old jerk for loitering and prowling.
Gloucester Street: A young reprobate took a taxi from Kingsland all the way to Brunswick, at which point the little larcenist had no funds for the fare. Of course. Totally innocent of remorse, the dastardly delinquent then attacked the cabbie. The state welfare folks intervened and “took custody of the juvenile,” police reported.
461 Palisade Drive: A woman picked up a few things at the Dollar General and handed the cashier of $20 bill. Nothing doing, the cashier said — this is merely an impersonation of a Jackson. So, the lady handed over yet another $20 bill. This too was a fake. The counterfeiting fool split before the cops got there, but police are investigating.
1500 block of Monck Street: When a mom and daughter became entangled in a heated argument, the offensive offspring slung a bottle of hot sauce at her own mother. Police confirmed it. “Upon arrival officers observed the broken bottle and the hot sauce all over the place,” a report stated. Nothing further.
— Larry Hobbs